a lovely weekend..lovely lovely

friday nite-caught the beijing olympics opening live. a friend at work commented that half of the people in china were probably involved in the huge spectacular event. well, more than half was involved i think, probably leaving just enough for the rest to be the athletes themselves.
and the fireworks! smokin...literally...i wonder if the haze got worse after that? ;)
and twas cool seeing some of the more well-known athletes taking part in the march.. the great fed-ex, rafa (he's so cute when he smiles), kobe bryant, the williams sisters, etc..


saturday-went back to kl for a picnic potluck with a few gals from one of my old schools-mrsm taiping. it was great.. everyone havent changed much. there were the usual issues: work, politics, religion, men, gossips, sex (oh yeah)...but with most already being mothers now, it was interesting when the discussion also included issues like school fees, smart reader schools, and which laundry detergent is the best to get rid of those stubborn stains on your kids' clothes! those of us who are still child-free should have taken notes! (but none of us did, not about the detergent anyway..the sex talk was waaaaaayy more informative ;))

the venue was at the cyberjaya lake, which was nice, not crowded at all, and lots of shady areas. the only problem, which i thought was actually quite major, was the toilet facilities. the one by the car park was dirty and had no water, and the other nearest facility was at the clubhouse, supposedly only accessible to members, but we crashed in anyway. when you had to go, you had to go eh.

saturday nite-went to klia to send another friend off to japan. she's married with 4 kids, and yet is crazy enough to further her studies to get her phd. "kau betul ke tak betul ni yat?"

sunday-went down south to see another old friend, who had her 2nd baby a couple of months ago(he's a handsome baby, and they got him such a cool name!).

the handsome amir ryu a.k.a the dragon prince. move over, knox leon!

the other best part of the trip is of course, the fruits-mainly rambutans and mangosteens. yum yum!



by sunday nite, i was bushed... slept earlier than usual (after catching up the olympics highlights 'course).. but yeah, it was a lovely weekend indeed.

here kitty kitty..

a rather relaxing weekend for me. i do have a list of things that should be done before monday, and i'll get to them (i hope!).. all while also catsitting for a friend. POSH is just the cutest lil kitten .. i'm totally in luv with her, and having these strong needs to have a cat of my own again.
sigh..

chris nolan rocks!

yup.. kudos to this brilliant director and his team for (finally) doing justice to batman. i mean, batman begins was already sorta-heading-that-way..but not-really-there-yet, but the dark knight is just "yes! yes!that's it!"..how it was really supposed to be (or at least in our minds, it should be) ... and this isnt just because i'm a fan of the comics, but people i know who've never read the comics think the same too.
simply put: i absolutely loved this movie!
christian bale was cool.
and heath ledger was super-duper awesome. what a loss.

a bug is buggin..

arrghh..
what is it about me that i attract weird psychos into my life?
just when it seems that i've finally gotten rid of one big bug after so many years of trying to get away from him (and his family)...(and not counting the few one-timers who calls me on the phone)..
there's now another one buzzing me evrytime i get online.
i ignored him of course, but didnt delete him right away cuz initally, (ok, i admit it)reading his stalking emails and offline messages sorta amused me in a way that makes me feel relatively normal... that though i've been called "weird" a few times, i'm still not THAT weird (haha..takes one to know one.. yeah i know).. but at least i'm not psychotic.
so yeah, tho it seems that i do attract them (like the bug-glue-thingy in the picture i took few weeks ago when out at dinner).. i really dont do psychos.
malas ah.
penat.

ps: the term psycho that is often used in this blog has the term defined personally by the writer, and only very loosely follows the DSM criteria.

hello, this is stoopid psycho calling...

some people cant stand letting the phone ring again and again without picking it up. i for one, am totally okay with that.. if i really dont feel like picking up a call, i wont. although, having said that, i agree that if you're in public or there are other people around, you should pick up the phone or at least shut it off or disconnect it if you really dont wanna answer the call for whatever reason, just so you dont annoy the people around you (especially if you've got one of them annoying ringing tones going off at maximum volume on your cell).
with caller ids now available on regular phones and cellphones, it's easy to see who's calling ya. the calls that i dont like taking are actually from unrecognized numbers.. most times it's the credit card company, other times it's just a wrong number, and then there are those calls from total (psycho)strangers who happen to get my no from someone.
me: how'd you get my number?
psycho: adalah...
me: tell me lah..
psycho: adalah...orang bagi..
me: who?
psycho: adalah...
me: what do you want?
psycho: saja nak borak..
me: why?
psycho: saja..
me: but i dont know you..
psycho: that's ok... bolehla kita kenal2....
me: ok.. tell me who you are first lah..
psycho: tak payah la tau..
me: huh? habih nak borak apa?
psycho: apa-apalah.. u nak borak apa?
and this is when i usually hang up the phone.
holey-gibbers..dah la psycho, bodoh pulak tu.. i'd rather waste my time doing sth else thanx.

so that's why i usually dont take unrecognized numbers. if they are actually calls from people that i actually know, then they should and usually will text me and lemme know who they are and i'll just call them back, no problem ;)

in the news

Thursday July 10, 2008

Doctors' strike shuts hospitals throughout Nepal

KATMANDU, Nepal (AP) - Striking doctors in Nepal shut down all the hospitals and clinics in the Himalayan nation Thursday, demanding better government protection against attacks by angry relatives of patients who have died.

Doctors had shut down hospitals in the capital, Katmandu, on Wednesday and expanded the strike to the rest of the country on Thursday.

Emergency services remained open.

Doctors groups say there have been several incidents over the past year in which people attacked or threatened hospitals and doctors over allegations of negligence in their relatives' deaths.

Dr. Kedar Narsingh of the Nepal Medical Association said the strike would continue until the government responds to their demands.

"The government has not even bothered to call us for talks and has not taken us seriously,'' he said.

"We will continue our protest until the government responds positively.''

In the latest incident, the family of a patient who died after kidney surgery threatened doctors at a hospital in Katmandu over the weekend.

Narsingh said the government had promised better security at hospitals two years ago after a similar incident led to a doctors' strike, but little has been done.

...............................................................................................................

what is the world coming to?

pray that malaysians takkan la sampai macam tu sekali..
but everyday at work seems like we're heading towards that direction. parents claiming we're treating their ill kids as pincushion la, experiment la, .. asyik cucuk saja ambik darah..
hya..if there is any other way for us to take blood from your children, less invasively, like picit kuku and darah terus keluar dari hidung ke.. or press the nose and blood comes out of the bellybutton ke.. dont u think we would take blood that way?
do you think we would just go to the ward at 3am in the morning, and since there's nuthin else to do, we play "let's prick the children and drain their blood away" for fun?
contrary to some beliefs.. we dont drink children's blood.. nor do we find anything useful to do with their urine or feces either, that we would ask you for the samples, or on occasions we ourselves have to stick a tube up their urethra (a.k.a the pee-hole), other than to have them sent to the labs so we could try and figure out why the heck is your child so sick, and try our best to make them better, cuz umm... isnt it why you brought them to us in the 1st place?
this may not have any medical explainations to it.. but from the (still very)limited experience of working with sick kids and babies for >6 years now, i find that babies whose parents are so calm, understanding, supportive and most of all very cooperative with us while we're treating their child.. these kids turnout well, despite our so-called medical opinion that they were so ill that they may not make it through..these are the kids who not only survive..they survive well, and grow healthily & beautifully.. passing way beyond all of our previous grave expectations.
but those babies whose parents are so inconsiderate, rude, accusing, overly paranoid etc (basically plain bad lah).. their babies seem to just give up on life.. even if their illness are not that serious, in our so-called medical opinion "should be okay one"... these are the kids that decide to turn for the worse..
sigh...
we remind ourselves..at least i make sure i do... to treat the patients..not the parents.. it's not the babies' fault that he/she were born to rude, stoopid moronic parents.
contrary to popular beliefs, doctors are humans.. with feelings.. we too feel sad, depressed even sometimes, when we couldnt save a child. how can people accuse us of "saja2 biar budak mati" is just beyond me.
i dont normally cry in front of parents when i deliver them the bad news, however sad i was feeling at the time... but i remember on one occasion not that long ago, after telling a couple that their child had died (after staying with us for a longtime in the NICU), they both nodded sadly, there was a pause, i stayed with them all ready to console them, my hand on the mom's shoulders.. then both of them surprised me by saying "thank you doctor, we know you have tried your best, and we appreciate everything that you and your team-the doctors, nurses, have done for our baby. only God can pay you all in return"
and there was no stopping the tears that rolled down my cheeks..

"so emie, apa cerita?"

i dont really like it when people ask me this.
the question usually comes from friends/relatives who havent seen me for a while. (it usually comes after: "hey.. u've gained weight yah?" or "hmm.. kau dah gemuk nampak?")--> but that's for another blog, another time.
why dont i like it is simply cuz i i felt like i dont really have much to cerita .. my job's the same, the place i work's still the same, my car's still the same, my health's the same, my status is the same (status quo).
so yeah.. the only thing that's changed is actually my weight, but like i said, this is the 1st thing they would notice anyway.
so i would usually say "oh, same ol same ol..u know"..and would then proceed to cerita about other things, or other people...altho when i think about it again later, i actually do have my own cerita i can cerita, but being caught off guard most of the time kan.. the cerita just got lost i guess. hee. whatever.

so here's my cerita for today..after like ?2 months of not blogging, more like a catching-up lah kot:

forfar,nelson,here i come (again)
it's back to the books again for me. sigh.boringnye......next!

wimbledon
it has been a really interesting year in tennis so far.
rafa beat fedex to the british cup this year,preventing the fed a 6-yr streak at wimbledon, and possibly sending the guy to a depth of depression (hope not!) for making him lose another grand slam title this year!
the williams sisters made it to the finals again, with venus bringing home the trophy.

the M word
quite a number of friends got busy sending off wedding invitations this year. interestingly, few are actually doing it for the 2nd time already (!) so apparently the question they pose nowadays is this: "so emie, when are you gonna get married hah? so&so already twice now..haha...ha...ha"
sheesh *eyeroll*

the D word
quite a number of people i know are/have gotten divorced as well. seems there are soooo many diverse reasons behind the divorces nowadays. i dont think there are any actual risk factors to getting them anymore. the couple could be living together/living apart, no children/got children, great in-laws/crazy in-laws/even no in-laws, age difference/no age difference, love marriage/arranged marriage, fidelity/infidelity, married young/married late, good sex/bad sex/no sex, just married/golden anniversary,...and the list goes on...
well i guess there is one definite risk factor for getting a divorce then--> getting married!

the good ol days
attended my old boarding school's 25th anniversary. was fun. very nostalgic.

work frustations
the LJ,the shameless fabricator,the stoopidos,the red tape,the pointing fingers,the illness,the deaths,the feeling of helplessness.

euro o euro
france and italy didnt make it very far. but germany got to the finals tho they didnt win. but hey, they beat portugal- muahaha.

f1
kimi, massa, & hamilton are head-to-head at the standings, with kubica running (or driving rather ;)) really close behind. now that's what i call a race!

masters
no..not another sports tournament. rather the disastrous journey i decided to embark myself in order to (kononnye) get myself "specialized". sheessh. what was i thinking? i dont think i give a damn anymore.bah! i'm too damn lazy for it all already.

happy hair
yup. new hairstyle. splurged a bit on it. but not sorry that i did ;)

current reading
other than paeds lit? the book thief and two caravans.

movies
hancock- predictable
ironman-loved it!
wanted-uuhhmmm....mixed feelings about this one
13 games (thai movie)-gross.loved it.but gross.really.
kungfu panda-fairly enjoyable. the animated kungfu moves are kung-fu-fun.heh.

travel
NONE.
arrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

post-exam diary

thomas cup... sigh..not ours again.

nadal vs federer - masters hamburg series final.
triple championship points...
and nadal, the great prince on clay, wins again.

chelsea vs man u in the championship league final next week. go chelsea!
david vs david on american idol finale next week. go cook! *drool*
f1 monaco next sunday. go kimi!

back in kl again yesterday. dad's 60th birthday. he was not in the mood to celebrate though.
an old friend got married.. went to the wedding.
followed by 2 movies at the cinema..
what happens in vegas : predictable storyline, but quite funny. diaz and kutcher are awesome!
narnia 2: bo-ring.

catching up on csi vegas season 8. 7 episodes down.

nujum pak belalang playing on astro: beringin rendang vs masai, lawan tekateki. i enjoy pramlee's funnies.

oncall tomorrow.

exam was over 4 days ago. it was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
if i successfully fail as predicted, then another exam will haunt me end of the year.
sigh.
malas to cry already.
i'll just go to plan b, or c..
and life goes on.

my current life soundtrack

-TRUTH by Seether-

If I gave you the truth, would it keep you alive?
Though I'm closer to wrong
I'm no further from right
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me
Convinced on the inside, you're so much more than me, yeah
No there's nothing you say that can salvage the lie
But I'm trying to keep my intentions disguised
And now I'm deprived of my conscience and something's got to give
Deprived of my conscience
This all belongs to me, yeah

I'm beaten down again, I belong to them
Beaten down again, I've failed you
I'm weaker now my friend, I belong to them
Beaten down again, I've failed you

The deception you show is your own parasite
Just a word of advice you can heed if you like
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me
Convincd on the inside you're so much more than me, yeah
I'm beaten down

it's one of those days.....

i have demons.
inside me.
outside.
the ones inside me are clawing through to get out, show their faces to the world.
the ones outside are penetrating their way into my mind..my body..my soul.
and there's helpless old me in between.
trying desperately to fight them off.
i cant let them get to me.. then i'll become their slave..and be lost forever.
no turning back.

it's been a looooooooooooooooong losing battle.
and it's wearing me out.
battered.
injured.
too damn tired.


dont know how long i can hold on.

an incident at the mall

this happened to me a few weeks ago. my friend mawa and me went to the local mall and was on our down the underground parking. there was already a line there cuz it was raining heavily so most people wanted to park underground and not have to get wet getting out of the car.
oh..and this is not a story about another flooded underground parking either ;)

as we were waiting in line, this huge ford ranger truck from nowhere suddenly made its way into the line about 2-3 cars in front of us. mawar and me just shook our heads and grumbled to each other.. esp seeing that it looked like a family in that truck..there was young kid around 4-5 yrs old in there, observing all this probably thinking "o.. this is how u get evrywhere in life.. just cut in infront of evryone else!"

anyway..as we finally came up to the ticketing machine as the car in front of us went pass the entrance bar.. we saw the truck again.. parked just after the entrance bar, and the driver was waiting at the ticket machine.. and before i could brake the car and open my windows.. he pressed the button, and took OUR ticket!.. and went back to his truck!!!
the bar lifted, but of course we couldnt just drive thru cuz we dont have a ticket anymore..and that will cause problems later when we wanna leave..cuz um... we wont have a bloody ticket!
so i called out to the guy, who didnt even bother driving off in his truck right away, he was actually talking on his phone.. and i called out to him again.. "encik.. why did u take my ticket?"..
and he said" somebody took my ticket..so i take yours lah"
so i asked again " but how am i supposed to go in now i dont have a ticket anymore?"
and he just shrugged his shoulders at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i turned to mawa, who was already feverishly taking down his car number (johor number btw), and then i turned to look at the long line of cars behind me, most of them probably not realizing what was the delay all about.. and i just drove through..and through..
we didnt even park down there.. we went straight up again and parked right at the main entrance (like i said, it was raining crazy heavily, so there were lots of paking spaces up there).. ...we were so angry... i was holding my breath cuz the hugest list of profanities were ready to eascape my mouth (and nose) ... i was that angry..
and we marched straight to the guards "in-charge" of the mall, ready to report the dumb brute.

but an interesting thing happened instead:
mawa and me started telling the guard lady at the counter about what happened.
we even gave her the car regisration number.
she listened and nodded, and started writing down the number.
then she said: so apa perasan adik bila dia buat macam ni?
mawa and me didnt quite expect this, so i asked her again.. cuz i thought i probably didnt hear her (there was also this mini-concert show going on right in the middle of the mall, just behind the counter where we were)
so she said again: apa perasan adik bila orang tu buat macam tu?
i turned to mawa and from her face i guess she heard the question too, so i answered: err... marah lah..
i suddenly had this sudden flash of vision that we were probably caught in some crazy "candid camera" show or sth.. and that the guard lady was gonna say "gotcha!!!!"
but instead she said: ok..so adik marah..maknanye adik faham la ye... perbuatan macam tu adalah satu kesalahan..

and she gave us a new parking ticket so we can get out later okay..

we thanked her quietly and walked away frowning. we just had a "moral education" given to us by that lady..?
realizing that, we both couldnt help laughing.. she probably felt that it was her responsibilty to teach us "youngins" about some good moral values. she didnt look that much older than us actually..but WE probably looked a lot younger.. haha.. that made us felt much better..
but in our hearts we still cursed that stupid jerk and his stupid ford ranger.

david cook & billy jean

omg...that david cook is just amazing, the way he sang billy jean like he did.. awesome!!
am so in luv with him!!
also have this teen crush on jason castro.. but he didnt do too well last night i think.
anyway, i agree with what they've been saying that this year's american idol contestants are among the best so far.. esp the guys..i guess that's why this season i've been following the show since hollywood week.... (usually i'd start watching much later...like when they reach top 6 or sth).
cool.. cant wait to see who wins!

kidz

these are just a few of my collection of photos of kids in action. they're just adorable!
how can some people stand to hurt/abuse them, i can never understand.

always let a kid be a kid...(i guess easy for me to say, cuz none of them are my own.. once they poop or throw a tantrum.. i hand them back to their moms..heee..)

great yongtaufoo in melaka

http://www.bharian.com.my/Current_News/BH/Saturday/Ikon/20080315130816/Article/

the restaurant featured in berita harian 2 days ago actually belongs to my cousin's hubby. memang yong tau foo dia sedap. about time his place got featured. typical rosli tho..didnt want his photo taken.
anyway, i tumpang bangga la..
hehe..

viva voters!

i've never been a follower of politics. i read the news, hear people's opinions about it, and nod my head-not in agreement-but from falling asleep.
i went to vote the first time 4 years ago, but it was just to see what it's like. so that at least i can say to people - yeah, i've done the voting thing... like yea..i've been to vegas (i havent, but u know what i mean..). it didnt matter to me who or what i was voting.
i went again this year cuz initially, i thought we're all gonna get the ink-on-the-nail thing... i have to try that one.. but then it got cancelled, yet i still went and voted.
why?
one is because, well..i already made sure i was not oncall that weekend so i can go back to kl where i registered to vote...but two is because, i became curious, and working for the govt for (wow) 7 years now.. i've "wisened up" in a way, opened my eyes and ears, and actually did a little bit of research about the malaysian government, and the opposition. .. and decided..yea-i'm definitely voting this time, not just for myself, but hopefully for malaysians and malaysia.

come the results of the election later that evening, i found myself actually sitting in front of the tv with my parents and my sister..my dad had the whole list of candidates on the table, and we helped him fill it out as we read the scrolling tab at the bottom of the tv screen..(it was geeky and cool at the same time...hehe...)
and it wasnt long before we realized what was happening.. emm..with all the coverage in the media, internet, and mamak stalls about the whole results thing, i dont have to regurgitate the results again in here...EVRYBODY KNOWS!
... but i just want to say that..i'm suddenly proud of malaysians for making the "daring" move.. and i'm excited ...and nervous a bit too of course, to see this new government that has been won by simple majority (i have only recently learnt about this new term, along with others that were total jargon to me before this), and to see the opposition finally being given the chance by the people to show us what they've got, and whether they are what and who they claim to be...
no doubt it was a great risk what the voters have done, giving the opps 5 states..but then if the risk is not taken, we will never know now would we?
and if things dont turnout the way we have been promised and assured that they would.. i'm sure the voters will know what to do come the elections again in 4 yrs time.
pray to God for the best.

luv da movies

had the flu but still had to work.. so spent the whole day yesterday "recharging" myself at home. big breakfast (mcdonald's!..yea..screw the diet.. body double pun body double lah) then long nap.. also caught up with my long list of movies on dvds..
- 30 days & nights
- i am legend
- atonement (that james mcavoy is so cute!)
- a mighty heart (good movie..but i just had one nagging question:how come angelina's hair in the whole movie remained the same? she had this dark, really wrinkly hair for her character in the movie, as she played a pregnant wife whose journalist husband was kidnapped by terrorrists...and they had flashback scenes going back to her character's wedding day...and she still had the same wrinkly hair pulled up the exact same way! they could've at least put flowers in them or sth... and then there's the scene at the end when it was 3-4 years after the tragedy..and she still had her hair up the same way! it sorta steals away the sense of time from the movie.. like evrything happened in a day or two instead of a few years..heh.. o well..)
- pursuit of happiness
- elizabeth: the golden age
- dragonlance: dragons of autumn twilight (it's been a loooong while since i last read the great dungeons&dragons chronicles..but this movie animation adaptation did no justice at all to the them..even if it had kiefer sutherland, lucy lawless, micheal rosenbaum and james marsden lending their voices to the main characters.. pity pity...)

24 hrs/day.. if only we have more eh?
cuz there's still quite a big pile of dvds waiting for me to watch..blockbusters..indies..foreigns..
not counting those in the cinemas .. ooh... which reminds me..saw sweeney todd last week too.. yay! it was awesome..i love it love it love it (and i dont fall for musicals very easily ;)

am looking fwd to the oscars!

but urmm.. for today....i will have to catch up on my studies.. ;(

polis story 2

remember that thing that ticked me off about the police 2 years back when our house was broken into (few blogs back)?

well, here's another "amusing" story for ya..
just recently, i was in kl to see a couple of friends. we were on our way to one utama for a dinner and a movie. our friend gie was driving, when her car was hit from behind by another car. the driver admitted his fault, showed us his ic, said he'll pay for the expenses, numbers exchanged..yada yada yada.. and we continued on, had our dinner, watched the movie (eastern promises-bit dreary, but viggo mortensen was good..and sexy too!), and lost our way over half an hour in the HUGE carpark trying to remember where we parked the car...
anyway, long story short, my friends decided to make a police report (o yes..i objected of course.. but my points arent strong enuff to debate against my friend's lote's: "as a responsible msian, we should report, even if no actions are taken, they can put it in their statistics...etcetc.."..
and the fact that by then, even tho i've became the designated driver (cuz gie was still in shock), the car wasnt mine, so i had to oblige.
so by the time we zigzagged thru the "maze" that is ttdi, unfamiliar territory to us three, it was already past 1 am. it was another half hour before we finally found the police station, and as we reached the front gates, there was this really young-looking cop standing post, so i rolled down the window and asked..
me : nak buat report boleh?
police kid: report apa?
me: kerete kena langgar tadi
police kid: kat mana?
me: kat depan sana, nak pegi one utama tu
police kid: oo..nak report tu boleh buat kat ibupejabat polis traffik
me: o ye ke? sini tak boleh?
police kid: tak..kat ibupejabat polis traffik
me: oo.. kat mana pulak tu ye? tempat ni tadi pun kami susah cari..
police kid: kat pj..
me: pj..dekat mana kat pj?
police kiddo: dekat pj-lah..petaling jaya, selangor.. (in thick kelantan accent)
me: ............
my friend lote sitting beside me: ..about to say sth quite sinister back to the guy i'm sure..so i held her back
me: boleh bagi nama jalan tak kat pj tu polis traffik tu kat mana
police kid: err.. tatau lah... cuba masuk dalam tanya

and he gestured for us to drive in to ask the other police inside.
so we did...all the while laughing our heads off.. pj selangor............sheesshhh...

then (nope, belum habis lagi ni..)
lote and gie went in to speak to this group of police sitting around in the "lounge area" (looked like a quiet night for them..i, btw, of course refused to go down and speak to them..heh)
and after a good many minutes (i had enuff time to tell my brother on the phone about evrything that had happened up to that point).. they came back to the car and gie said she'd make the report tomorrow. apparently the policemen told them how to get to the ibupejabat polis traffik using landmarks like "pizza hut on the right.. depan sikit lagi ada nampak bangunan warna kuning.. depan sikit belok kiri, jalan terus, belok kanan.." (this time in thick kedah accent) but none of them could tell them the address of the ibupejabat polis traffik in petaling jaya selangor.

by the time i got home i was 3 am.
like another friend of mine said when he heard the story.."wah..what an adventure. what is it about you and the polis?"
yeah..it's me that is the problem ;)

one sure sign i need to lose weight

this happened to me before and i blogged about it in yah00360.
that there's a colleague at work.. who's really petite, and after she became (obviously) pregnant and gained a few, people started to mistake me for her at work!!! and when these people realize their mistake, they said it's because i really look like her now that she's pregnant! and when she came back after her maternity leave, no one mistook me for her anymore!!
so ok..that was last year..
then this year.. just the other day.. another staff thought i was her again, and called me by her name twice.. and i was with my boss at the time, and when i told her that this happened before last year when the colleague was pregnant, she told me "oh memang dia pregnant lagi dah pun.."
whaaaa..?
so it's confirmed... evrytime she gets pregnant now, people will start seeing me as her body double.
boy o boy...do i need to lose weight..

no globes no glory.. 2008 is scary

2008 is scaring me..
lesseee..

recently .. sth bad happened to me at work.. reallly bad.. and i didnt realize i was even involved until a couple of fingers started pointing at me.. "it was her!!"... and .. o well..
i wont relive the whole thing.. but i was so shocked, and depressed, and frustrated with myself..
and i felt like evryone knows, and are pointing fingers at me, and talking about me behind my back.. and maybe it's mostly paranoia, but even this person who was close to me before, now seemed like she's ignoring me cuz i guess she blames me.. maybe...i dunno.

then i keep having this heavy feeling in my chest, and this quesy feeling in my stomach.. dunno why. at first i thought i wasnt feeling well, like having palpitations, or even angina/heart attack.. but my heart rate's normal. more like a feeling like sth bad's gonna happen.. i;m obviously not psychic..but hiyaa.. dunnolah.. i really dont like whatever it is that i'm feeling.

i'm also totally freaking out about the coming exams in may..i try to study.. and realize that i'm so stupid i cant remember a lotta stuff, and so i give up, and stop studying.. and that freaks me out again...so i try to study again..then i cant concentrate..give up again..freak out more..vicious cycle..

i think it all sorta started on the 1st day of the new year.. me and my 2 housemates had breakfast together at this kopitiam place.. .. and i got a parking ticket! it's a public holiday damnit! i couldnt believe it.. a parking ticket..on my bday! (althoo.. i realize now that's not really exceptional.. i got a speeding ticket on my bday 2 years ago too..hmmm..mebbe not related..)

and now i found out that the golden globes has been cancelled. the winners will just be announced in a press conference. no red carpets, no speeches, etc.
i actually completely forgot about the golden globes..with work and all the things above been nagging me..
at first i was disappointed, but then i realize i'm oncall tomorrow anyway, so .. phew! (i usually make it a point to either not be oncall on globes/oscars days and have even taken the day off just to catch the shows live in the previous years-hee..am a complete sucker for these 2 awards shows)
o well..la di da.. life goes on..

but that's why i think 2008 is starting to scare me...

'tis the day i become 33..

goodbye 2007..
hello 2008..


let's see.. looking back at 2007, the one thing that sorta made it "standout" compared to other years, is that.. it was sorta "digital year" for me. my old laptop was stolen towards the end of 2006, so i got a new one earlier last year. then, with the new laptop came new gadgets that i added one by one thruout the year-cooling fan,speaker,external hdd,pendrive,etc.
i got a portable mp3 player-ipod nano ripoff-and it ripped me off! now it's totally useless.
then, my motorola mobile rosak..after the many falls that it took, the fact that it lasted more than 2 years already made me very fond of it, but alas, it totally gave up on me 2 weeks ago, so i had to go and get myself a new one. and i really didnt need to spend more than 1K to get me a reasonably good mobile nowadays, i know that, but the new sony ericsson just sorta took my breath away, and so that was how a good 1299 myr was taken away from me ;)
then, mother or all digital disasters-my precious digital camera pulak rosak... right after coming back from bali..!! sth wrong with the lens.. it's now at the shop waiting to be fixed..or rather, waiting to see whether it's worth fixing. i'm still waiting for the quotation to see which is gonna be more cost-effective: fixing it, or buying a new one.

travel-wise, i only made 3 trips this year: genting, JB and outer areas, and bali (thank goodness!). i want more!!


family-wise: blessed with amirah's brother aliff.
my parents are becoming typical grandparents, my youngest brother is quite cute as the uncle, and i'm the self proclaimed favourite aunt of amirah (aliff only comes to me when no one else is available to pick him up-hmph!)

mom's side of family: unexpected loss of an uncle.
dad's side: he comes fom a big family, and evry year something big always happen, but last year was just FULL of hot stuff, from one thing to another-some juicy, some good, and some are just plain bad bad bad. it's real life soap (i'd tell ya,but i shouldnt).


eenie, mynie & mo-with their mom at day 3 of life.
o yeah.. i had the chance to start my own lil family too. a 1st time queen actually gave birth to 3 lil cute kittens right inside my washing machine.. and later abandoned them! so i had to adopt them, and fed them, and they were just newborns, their eyes were not even opened yet. so i tried my best to bottle feed them (i never knew there's such things as kitty milk till then), and kept them warm....and it wasnt easy.. so one by one they succumbed. and i think i got attached to them too early too soon..it was really sad and depressing to see them die. so even if i get myself any cat(s) in the future, i dont think i can take in little newborns.


work-wise: i started my masters. the exam's in 41/2 months. yikes!
work was also full of hot gossip last year i think. and we had people leaving the dept, and coming back, and passing exams >i still failed, but then that happened in previous years as well :( .. and more people left. there were things that happened that reminded me that doctors are so very human, not that i dont already know or think so, but some people do have unrealistic expectations of us sometimes, while some doctors themselves forget their place, and think themselves higher than others.
anyway i cant elaborate any further, but somehow it's kinda shocking..and scary, to find out the truth about a person sometimes, and the things they would and could do, even though they shouldnt ... all in the name of position or power.
o well.

in between, there's always my friends: few more got married this year, one or two got divorced, some expanded their families, while some are still soul(mate) searching.

my housemate mawa, was radiant during her engagement day.

as for my own love-life, which never fails to be an "issue" these past few years with my relatives and friends..(it is interesting getting all the bday wishes today.. usually it's "happy bday, happy new year", or some people would tease me with "you're older than me nyah nyah nyah"... but this year, more than half of the messages have things like "may 2008 bring you love"..or some even as blunt as "may you get married this year" (!!!)
sheeesshh.
anyway, 2007 has been "barren". no crushes, no flirtations, no dates, nuthin. either it's because i didnt meet anyone interesting enuff, or i'm just losing interest altogether... most probably both.
i do have this to say tho: men can be so confusing, and i dont need confusion in my life right now (one guy who forgets my bday all the time we were seeing each other, now that we're not anymore, wishes me right after the countdown, 2 years in a row now)
oh, and of course, there's that "valentine horror" too(see few blogs back).. the sender still remains a mystery, which, if it was indeed a man-reiterate my point above.

ok, so resolution for 2008. oh.. same ol' same ol'..
be better person, lose weight, more active, save money, travel more, pass exams, blablabla

happy new year.
happy birthday to me.. 33, and (who's)counting..

bali break

my housemates mawa, east and i went to bali 2 weeks ago.

it was a much needed break. tho it was really too short a time (only 4 days), we enjoyed ourselves very much.

we spent 2 days in kuta and 2 in ubud.

in kuta it was mainly walking around town and shopping. went to the beach but didnt swim or anything since we didnt have much time. we also went to tanahlot to see the famous temple in the sea, which is only accessible during low tide.

then we went to ubud, which is a lot quieter. stayed at this hotel - artini 3- smack in the middle of a padi field, it was really quiet and nice, we really liked it there. the price is really reasonable too.

in ubud, we spent half a day cycling, then off to a real relaxing time at a nice spa (bali ratu). for about rm170, i got a head/shoulder/back massage for an hour and a pedicure after. we also tried out one of the cheaper salons earlier the 1st day we were in ubud, and altho they did a real crappy job on my nails, we enjoyed chatting with the salon ladies, who are mostly from java. east especially enjoyed her time there very much coz they actually commented that she looked like agnes monica (well known pop artist in indonesia). we had to endure with her "grandiosity" for a few days after that.. well actually, she still brings it up till now.

all 3 of us jugak extra seronok cuz people evrywhere thought we were still in school .."mbak masih kuliahan ya?". i get that all the time in malaysia anyway, but i guess now i can say it's an "international" fact that i still look like a kid. muahahaha.

we only managed to see one traditional dance when we were in ubud-the kecak dance-and it was nice. hopefully i'll catch other dances/shows the next time i go there.

on the way back to the airport on the last day, we managed to drop by sukawati to get a few more souvenirs, then back into kuta for more last minute shopping. one of the most interesting finding while shopping there is that pirated cds are being sold openly in the malls in these really proper looking shops with uniform wearing salespersons, we initially didnt even realize they were selling pirated cds/dvds! and at about rm3.20/dvd.. it's a steal!! literally.. rompak maut punye! but another interesting point is that you wont find a pirated indonesian cd anywhere in the shop, be it music/movie, if it's local (indon) then it's gotta be original. and um.. we didnt find any malaysian movie or music cd there at all-not even a pirated one, original lagi la takde. sad.

and altho quite a number of locals seem to know (and like) siti nurhaliza, the only time we saw her face on a shelf is on those oil of olay beauty products.

going back to shopping there.. my other personal favourite thing to browse is the silver jewellery, esp in ubud, altho i was told that the best are in celuk. such a wide variety of choices, and by bargaining, you can get them at really reasonable prices (which to me translates into affordable-guilt-free prices..cuz i do already own quite a number of silver rings).

food was not really a problem in kuta. we arrived in bali at nite, and were too hungry to look around too much so we just got us some fast food-which is halal in indonesia. the next day we got lucky cuz we met a few muslim locals who told us about this halal eating place just off jalan singgahsari, aboout 5-7mins walk from the beach, called warung nikmat, which had quite a variety of tasty local dishes, at a good price. there's also a musholla (surau) just behind the warung, which was very convenient.

oh..and the toilets in bali are quite clean compared to malaysia.. this warung nikmat with the surau for example..actually has the "jamban curah" kind, you know,not the pull-to-flush kind.. and what amazed me was that they were still very clean!

actually, that was the other thing about bali.. it was really quite clean there..the streets, the beach, the air, the toilets, all clean. tak paham betul..jamban2 diorang pakai air jugak macam kita, takde kena bayar pun, macamana bole jugak dijaga bersih? satu yang malaysia patut belajar and contohi la i thought. if only.

takpe, i still love malaysia for other reasons, but as for bali... no doubt it's a real nice place to visit. with airasia, it cost us about rm400 each for a return ticket, inclusive of taxes. really hoping to go there again insyaAllah, obviously a lot more places to see and things to do there that we didnt get to in the 4 days.

hp and the dh-spoiler alert!(just a lil teeny bit)

finally.. finished reading harry potter and the deathly hallows. my brother got the book the day it was released, as an early bday present. my sis texted from bintulu the next day and warned me not to read the sunday paper, or at least the review in the paper about the book cuz apparently they mentioned evrything including who died and didnt..all without a spoiler alert! and so i managed to stay away from any kind of spoiler while i was finishing the book (altho one friend did blurt out-harry didnt die la, when she saw me reading at work-ugh!). took me awhile to finish the book, what with work and studying and all. erm..ahh..ok, so i did skip the studying part, but hush, dont tell.
the ending was predictable, but the story leading to it really werent, so i loved that!
and i was right about snape!-and altho i'd usually hate that, but the events leading to the truth about him were still great that it was totally okay. hehe.
overall i thought it was a good book. being the last book in the series, it sorta wrapped up evrything quite nicely, and there were quite a number of times when references were made to the other earlier books, as flashbacks, or when explaining a clue, or a place was mentioned that was visited in a previous book, etc. i noticed there were very few new characters/magical creatures/spells. and since most arent new, often times they werent described further in detail-cuz they've all been described in the previous books. great for already-fans i guess, but not to those who're just joining and starting with this book (but i guess that's one great way to get people reading (and buying) the rest of the books. $ker-ching$).
i think one of the main things that made me stick with the series is the magic. it just intrigues me that jk rowling can come up with such a variety of characters, creatures, spells, etc. (of course i love tolkien..but i gotta admit, i dont really care much about the lengthy poems). so i guess because there's not much "introduction" in this book (as in to new magic/spells/characters), my favs in the series would still have to be the 4th and 5th books(goblet of fire and order of phoenix) which had tons. the first 2 books were also full of them, but they were more "kiddish" than the rest. so ok, this 7th book definitely gets 3rd place then.


n.b: simpsons the movie is out too!-another excuse to skip studying then.heh.

bundles of joy

aliff fahmi - my nephew, at 3 months old, weighs 7.4kg.
wow.
i mean, look at him. his cheeks probably weigh 500g each!
he's still breastfeeding exclusively, so nuthin needs to be done yet about his weight gain.
one thing IS unfortunate though, the lil' blubber is now across the sea away from us, so i havent been able to pinch his pinch-able cheeks.

aliff & amirah in dreamland-this was when he was a day old. he looked so different!


god, i miss them!

press my benign buttons, baby

no, it aint a rap song.
my fren mawa and i came across this cheaper version of a barbie doll being sold in a store recently. the name of the doll was weird enuff -benign girl- but look at the description beneath the name: beautiful girl. press any button.
you can see that she comes with batteries and other accessories as well.
um..ok..
a benign, beautiful, battery operated, barbie-lookalike doll with buttons you can press. o what joy it is to have such a doll (?).
mawa n me laughed sooo hard.
where to start?
how and why is she "benign"? what defines a benign girl? in cancer world, benign is usually good. malignant is bad. so which category am i?
mebbe they're not really targeting little girls as major customers then? (we looked around and reconfirmed that we're indeed at the toy section of a family oriented shopping place, and not in an "i need" shop)
button? what button? i can think of a button that till now remains a major mystery to some men (and even women) but i'm not in the mood for a sex education now. besides, physically, she's so anatomically incorrect and disproportionate that i'm sure what i think they mean by button is not what they mean by button.heh.

of course, after the tears from laughing so hard dried in our eyes and we can see properly again, we realized that the batteries must be for the phone that comes with the doll. i mean, the doll's so skinny there's no way she can fit any batteries in her. and the mystery button? i'm sure they mean press any button on the phone. d-uh!

woe is me..mebbe?

women's final at the french open. henin vs ivanovic. evrybody wants (and believes) henin's gonna win again this year. but i kinda like ivanovic. it'd be great if she wins. she's very pretty too. hee.

ok, so the results are out. i'm out. so that's it. i'm giving up for sure. not trying for it again-ever again! "never give up" you say?.. no.. you should never say never. i believe there are times when it's okay to give up. i should have given up earlier actually. think of all that money i could've saved if i hadnt sat for the exam again and again and again.. i'm talking thousands of ringgit u know. the shoes, the clothes, that car cd player i've been ogling at, that car of mine that seriously needs a makeover... i couldve used all that money to get all that, with extra for savings too! ;)
i'm still disappointed of course, but interestingly, there are no tears this time. bawled like a baby evrytime i found out i failed last time.
so passing exam's not my thing.. i'll just sit for the "free" ones then. at least the "loss" wont feel like a huge one.

looks like ivanovic's losing too. o well. i'll get to go to bed earlier tonite then.

two movies, two books, and good tennis in between

am watching nadal vs djokovic at the french open. going to be nadal's game i'm sure. but that djokovic's so cute sometimes. he kept making these gestures as if saying "wow, nadal's real good on clay, what can i do?" and smirks.
will be missing the men's finals tho. am working sunday.

went to um for the masters orientation last week.
what the hell have i gotten myself into?
i was having palpitations each time one of the profs/lecturers there gave us a pep talk about what lays ahead for us in the coming 4 years.
o boy o boy o boy... soo looking fwd to evrything..NOT!

anyway, so i was back in kl for the orientation, and i went to midavalley 5 times in 4 days! movie, lunch,shopping alone, movie, shopping with mom, and dinner with the gals.
blades of glory was a riot. there were quite a number of laugh-out-loud moments. i enjoyed it.
waris jari hantu was a nice surprise. it wasnt scary at all, but that's not the surprising part, and shuhaimi baba probably didnt intend it to be anyway. it's sorta obviously a shuhaimi baba's movie, but neater and much better than pontianak harum. azean's character was quite funny while rusdi ramli showed his breakthru performance.

and it IS nadal's game!
he's so cute when he smiles.
btw, a great thing to watch in between the main players' matches is the wheelchair tennis. the players are just super awesome.

the only things i got from all those visits to midvalley were books. am still "banning" myself from buying any clothes and shoes. havent bought any new ones since december. am quite proud of myself for that. didnt think i have that sort of discipline in me. anyway, back to the books- i love "running with scissors" by augusten burroughs. i actually saw the movie 1st, and wasnt that impressed by it. but the book's excellent. burrough's a really funny guy with a really messed up, weird, messed up (didnt i just say that?) childhood. you keep forgetting that you're actually reading a memoir.
i'm in the midst of "i am muslim" by local author dina zaman. its a collection of columns that she wrote for malaysiakini.com, and she describes it as a selfish series of articles while she explores her religion (islam) and people. few of her observations become "eye-openers" for me, while others i have observed myself, at home here in malaysia,and abroad. her opinions are her opinions, but her book made me look at my own self in the mirror, and my own views of islam and muslims. other than the religious views, her experience and mostly funny points about being a 30-sth single malay muslim woman hit home quite often ;)

i also got a another non-fiction-ollie-but havent started on it yet.

it's almost 4am now. still not sleepy, but that's no surprise lah, considering i was so tired coming back from work today and slept from 6 to 10pm just now! hee. but gotta wake up early tomorrow so should still force my butt to bed.

update's up

well, it has been awhile.
had my ups and downs.

my uncle passed away 2 weeks ago. it was totally unexpected. he was only 44 y.o. collapsed at work. died about an hour later. it was really sad seeing his wife and 2 young kids. and my grandma. he was the man of the house. we could count on having him around to look after her. i couldnt help crying when they left with his body to the cemetery.

my sis gave birth to her 2nd child. amirah is now a big sister. i now have a nephew- aliff.

been accepted for masters. scary scary. 4 scary years ahead of me there. god, give me strength.

caught f1. one funny thing my fren lo said: i'm getting too old for this.
and yet, apart from taking pictures of the cars during the race, we also took a few pictures of these cute guys we saw there (and literally chased after, like a pair of boy-crazy teenage girls-hee).

went down to desaru for a short weekend getaway.
courses, cpr, courses..

umm..what else, what else?

gosh...felt like i've been very busy in the past few months, but cant seem to recall evrything.
o well.
that's about it for now.

a cold, a new year, a wedding, a reunion, and a valentine

i'm sick.
a cold.
greenish goo is coming out of my nose. was oncall yesterday. will be again a day after tomorrow. hopefully i'm better by then.

it's chinese new year today. gong xi gong xi.

my roomies and i also attended a friend's wedding today. became sorta like a mini reunion between us and a few of the guys we used to hangout with few years back. they're mostly married and having babies now. made me feel like such a big sister today. i mean, we were there to see their transformation from university boys to working men. we're that close that we got to know their families, went travelling together .... we even saw them through their troubled lovelives, met their lady friends.. we went to their graduation, and to their weddings, and now they're fathers. sigh. i'm glad we still went today, despite being sick, post-call and all. btw, congrats to the lovely couple-an & epi.

then there was valentine's day.
last year i got a virtual flower from this guy i was sorta seeing, who i thought i kinda liked, but well... i dunnolah what was going on with this guy-sometimes i felt i was a girlfriend (like when i got the valentine flower-even if it was only virtual), sometimes i felt like i was just a "convenient" friend, sometimes just someone to give medical advice... anyway, i digress. basically, we're no longer in touch.
this year, being single and not really seeing anybody, valentine was supposed to just come and go for me.
but surprise-oh-mother-of-all-surprises.. i got a dozen red roses delivered to me at work! red roses. a dozen of them. with a tiny bear holding a heart that says "i love you" on it. and a card that says "happy valentine day" (grammatical error included), but no sender name.
of course, 1st thing that came to mind was: they got the name wrong.
but i checked (cuz i had to sign the delivery papers right) - name, workplace..all correct.
2nd thing: this is a trick. somebody's playing a prank on me.
asked my so-called friends. 'course evryone denies it and juz continued going waahh-soromantic-solucky-ugotasecreatadmirer-wah-wah on me. sheesh.
3rd thing: somebody out there trying to 'bomoh' me. um. yeah. good luck to them.

4th thing: mebbe i won a prize, or a lucky draw thingy, or this could be a promotional thing. from some insurance company.. or even the flower shop itself?
5th thing that came to mind: mebbe...in a state of utter despair and desperation (singletons-nearing-valentine syndrome) or perhaps under the influence of certain substance(s), i sent them flowers to myself? hmm.. but i havent been intoxicated recently. i got the cold only after. and please, even if i did get myself under the influence, i'd definitely get myself sth totally crazier or more extravagant than just a bunch of flowers-like a diamond ring, or a tattoo, or a new car. hehe.

and so the last thing that came to mind was: someone actually sent me the flowers? it's so....freaky.. freakier than the bomoh thing. really. i'm not one of those people who's used to getting "secret admirers" sending me anonymous gifts or flowers or whatever you know. not when i was in school. not in university. and now at work, at 32? yeah, freaky.

my friends (and staff at my workplace who were witnesses to the whole-delivery girl whisking her way into the nursery, flowers and all asking where i was-thing..sheesh) kept bugging me to findout who it's from. please, as if i'm gonna send phone texts to all the guys i know and say : how's it goin? did u by any chance spend more than a hundred ringgit for a dozen flowers for me on valentine?. i mean, what if it was a girl that sent me the flowers? ;)

o well, v-day came and went, and the sender (or senders? a group of people pulling up a prank is still possible) remains a mystery. if he/she/they prefer to remain anonymous, then let it be. the flowers are nice, and i'd like to keep them for now. no guilt attached.

bye bye birdie

a colleague of mine found a lil baby bird in her garden 2 days ago. she couldnt find a nest anywhere nearby so she took it in. yesterday after work she gave it to me cuz she had to work today. the plan was for me to look after it today and tomorro (since i have to work), she'll take it to the spca.
it was a cute lil bird and i was tempted to keep it, but i really dont believe in taking in flying birds as pets so even if i was gonna care for it for a few days, i'd let it fly away when it can (i remember as a kid, my dad used to buy these colorful lil birds to keep as pets, but i would always release them from their cages-without my father knowing of course).
anyway, i looked up the internet last night on how to look after baby birds and apparently the best thing to do is to leave them alone. even if we have to take them in, we're not supposed to feed them anything (i already gave the bird water and a bit of rice-oops!), keep them in a box in dark quiet place and then bring them to an animal shelter.
so that was my plan today-to bring the birdie to the spca, but alas... it died sometime during the night.
sigh.

now i just gotta persuade my roomates to lemme keep a cat. got too much love to give ;)

roasted baby anyone?

true story:
18 day-old baby admitted with what looked like severe skin infection over his face and neck. it was all red and angry looking, with a few areas peeling off. his eyes were shut closed with gooey purulent discharge, and he's got crusts all around his mouth as well. the parents initially claimed they too have no idea how their baby got that bad. then later they offered us this little info: their lil one was crying non-stop, driving evryone crazy.. so they took him to a 'bomoh' hoping he can help them stop the baby's crying. the bomoh then gave them a mixture of coconut oil + onions + black pepper, and told them to smear the mixture onto the baby. and so the 4-time parents did. all over his face, esp around his eyes, and mouth (cuz u know-crying..mostly involves the eyes and mouth? the tears and the wailing? i dunno-this my theory) and never washed it off, in fact, kept on reapplying it daily onto the poor sucker's face (sucker-get it?cuz he still breastfeeds?harhar)-one coat of seasoned oil after another.
we're talking about a pair or parental unit here, who's had 4 children- basically 'marinating' their lil one cuz he cries a lot, and cuz the bomoh tells them too.
why cant people follow doctors' orders like that-no questions asked.
i mean these parents, after finally letting us know this important piece of information, actually asked us afterwards: u think this might be related to whatever is happening to our baby?
um..yee-ah!
why dont you try smearing the same ingredients all over your thirty-sth-yr-old skin and see what happens. i mean, the kid was just past a week old at the time.
sheesh..
course, i didnt say that to the parents. i'm just a doctor, not a bomoh. i cant just tell people what i want.
instead, we washed the poor baby's face off - start him on antibiotics, and he got better after a few days.

sigh.breathe in.out.sigh.snort.blah.sigh again.

just finished all 6 seasons of sex and the city (again).

just discovered that i really luv 24! (only seen 1st 2 seasons so far-yeah,yeah, long way to go) but i'm stuck now.

and am so in luv with kiefer sutherland. he seems cool.

missed the SAG awards yesterday. lupa. was so engrossed with 24 season 2. saw the last 12 episodes back-to-back. slept at 3am.

work is as work sometimes, unfortunately, is.

another desperate mother left her newborn baby in a drain.

poor lil one a real fighter tho.

alive and kicking.

well not exactly kicking-was lethargic by time he got to us.

but still ok, considering.

he got bruises all over.

must be bruised emotionally too. left unwanted by own mom.

world oh world.

sigh.

bed beckons.

the weakness in me

i hate myself.
why is it i always end up the one apologizing?
even when it isnt my fault?

like when i found out that i've been lied to.
and i confronted the person about it,
the person feels bad about it.
and didnt wanna talk to me afterwards.
but then i feel bad about it.
and i end up saying sorry.

i fuckin hate it when that happens!

kawin=kebal???

ok.. ini cerita pasal pencurik bedebah yang masuk rumah aku tempoh hari. aku tulis dalam full bm ni sbb nanti "i sound stupid if i write in english"..muahaha..(yelah... tu cerita lama.. no offence ha.. btw.. i like sharifah amani..... and i got what she was trying to say at the time, but the response from the ministry and the public didnt really come as a surprise to me.. dah agak mesti ramai org akan misinterpret, melenting and melatah punye..)
what i mean to say is i may not sound as angry if i write in english.
kadang2 tu lagi puas hati bila mengutuk dgn bahasa ibunda.
(hmm... that probably sound worse. kena gam la pulak nanti..hee)
ahhhh...lantaklah lah. digress pulak.

berbalik pada cerita pencurik bangsat yang pecah masuk rumah aku 2 bulan lepas. masuk siang2 terang tau.. time kitorg tgh keje.. my housemate balik tengok pintu depan ternganga luas.... dia (atau diorang, mungkin pencurik tu ada geng gak kan) kebak tiga2 laptop kitorg.. cilanat betul la.

anyway...pencurik dah mmg dasar pencurik la kan.. diorang mencurik mmg sah diorang yang bersalah la kan. mana2 bangsa, mana2 agama pun kat dunia ni will tell you that mencurik is wrong. tapi special case kat malaysia ni, orang yang kena curik tu kerapkali jugak dipersalahkan.
""ooo.. rumah korang ni takde grill..patutla masuk pencurik.."
""ooo..korang letak komputer tu atas meja ye?..patutla kena curik..."
dan statement yang paling best sekali.....
"ooo..tak kawin lagi... tu susah sket tu..."

O-kaayyyy...
so, correct me if i'm wrong... selama2 ni rumah orang yang ada pasang grill tak penah dimasuki pencurik ke?
pastu... pompuan2 yang dah kawin sume tak penah kena ragut ke? tak penah rumah diorang kena masuk pencurik?
persatuan pencurik2 dan pemecah2 rumah di malaysia ni ada syarat dan peraturan ke... kalau pompuan tu dah kawin, kita tak leh kacau ha... kita kacau yang tak kawin jek.
um...hello?

yang lagi cacat tu.. statement2 tu sume bukan datang dari orang yang tak penah sekolah atau pun dok dalam hutan tak penah2 keluar...
tu datang dari mulut polis tu. (and in my houemate's case:her big boss-who's male and konon2 concerned, and cuba nak carik reason kenapa agaknye rumah kitorg dimasuki pencurik-also felt that it must be due to our 'single' status)
*roll eyes here*

i tell you.. dealing with the police that night was quite an eye opening experience (literally and metaphorically)...
dahlah kitorang ni dah cukup terkujat dah.. dgn rasa marah kat pencurik.. pastu ditambah pulak sakit hati kat polis.
masa buat repot kat balai tu dah dibo-layan dek polis wanita kat situ.. siap kena herdik lagi "ni ramai2 ni sapa yg nak buat repot? sorang je yg kena repot!"
so i did the formal reporting, using my name.
yang menariknya, suara polis tu, yang pada awalnye ada sedikit high pitch la jugak, tetiba jadik lebih friendly pulak lepas dia tanye aku - keje ke belajar?
and aku jawab: -keje-
keje apa?
- doktor-
terus jek dia jadik ramah tamah lepas tu!
at one point masa dia contact officer dia on the phone, we overheard her saying"..tapi tuan, diorang ni doktor.."
????????
pastu dengan penuh mesranya memperkenal dan mempromosi "rakan cop" kat kitorang.
what the hell??????????????????????

then she told us to go home to meet the investigating team. "balik sekarang la ye..diorang dah on the way.. terima kaseh datang repot!" (sweet smile and all)
and that was at 7 pm. we waited. 2 hrs went by.
called them: on the way.
2hrs later called again:on the way.
finally they came ....after 1 am.
takde cakap sorry pun. when we asked kenapa lambat sangat: "you marah ye..kalau cerita pun you kata kita buat alasan..kitorang terkejar2 dari pukul 8 tadi... ada kes jumpa body kat sawah .." konon2 hebat la.. keje berjam2, settle kes org mati lagi.
so apa lagi ..aku yang kebetulan masa tu lepas oncall kat spital, been working since 8am the day before that, and 40hrs later still unable to sleep because told to wait for them..sound la diorg balik...cakap la tgh settle kes lain, lambat datang..jgn dok cakap on the way, on the way...pokpekpokpek..saya ni keje dari pagi semalam tau, sampai sekrg tak rehat2 lagi..pokpekpokpek... kitorg pun faham dgn kes emergency...korang jumpe org dah mmg mati pun..kitorg jumpe org dah nak mati kena revive pulak tak mau bagi mati!
(that was me with red eyes, flaring nostrils and all)
"... oo you all ni keje hospital ye..doktor ye.."
?????????????????
lepas tu masa amik statement about the event, sempat la buat komen2 takde makna yang i mentioned earlier.
mengancam kesabaran betul.
by then my brain was already needing a revival of its own that i couldnt pokpekpokpek anymo.

dah settle malam tu, esok hari tu kena lagi gi jumpe the inspector. sempat lagi sekali dia komen..."tulah.. susah sket la kalau tak kawen ni"
apa masalah diorang ni????
hampeh tahap maksimum betul.

back with a new lap friend

....as in a new laptop that is ;)
sigh....... i missed blogging!!!
my ol trusty laptop was stolen about 2 months ago. someone (damn u-or u guys- to hell!!) broke into our house and stole each of our laptop-mine and my 2 housemates'.
i'll blog more about this later.

so much has happened since then. i wrote about them in yahoo360 already so malas nak ulang.

oh...and it's now the 2nd week already in the new year. cepat betul.
which makes me 32 years and 2 weeks old. sigh. time flies.
i got this new laptop exactly a week after my bday.. borrowed the money from me dad. sigh. dont think i'll have enuff funds for the trip to melbourne this march. been planning to go since a friend went there for her masters. she's now doing her phd.
gosh.. that's another thing about being in the thirties. you get frens completing their post grads, doing their phds, doctor frens becoming specialists,..
and you dont get much wedding inivitations anymore too, unless it's your close fren's brother/sister getting married, while your already married frens are either expanding their families with a 3rd or 4th child coming soon, or getting divorced.. in which case you may then get invitations to your fren's wedding-for the 2nd time. heee...