kenapa anak saya takut doktor? (based on real-life events)

Scenario 1:
I meet an old frend/relative with his/her cute kid. Kid starts coming to me arms outstretched to salam or mintak dukung. I stretch my arms too, ready to receive the incoming bundle of cuteness and affection.
Kid's mom/dad: "Adik, acik ni doktor tau. Adik takut doktor kan?"
Kid: *patah balik* tak jadi kawan
Me: Dengki la. Kau memang nak anak kau benci aku ke apa?
What really bugs me: *Dahle le kau panggil aku acik!*

Scenario 2 (this happens ALL the time, but I especially hate it when it happens when I am just about to examine a kid):
Kid's mom/dad: "Haa, cucuk dia doktor, cucuk dia ni. Dia nakal sangat!"
Kid: *looks at me with those big eyes, lips tremble, mouth opens and .. *CRYYYY (as loudly as a kid can cry)
There are multiple reactions to this one ..
Me: *Acute deafness*
or ..
Me: Olololo ..tak cucuk la.. *dan ayat2 pujuk seerti dengannya*
or ..
Me: Dengki la uols. Kan dah nangis. (mood still good, laugh with parents)
or ..
Me : Donkey la korang  #@**!!^&;^%$#! (mood out, temper in, what I really wanna say, but dont say la of course, dalam hati only)