Monday, September 18, 2006

these are not their real names..

these are stories of real relationships of real people that i know. they're some good ones, and some bad ones. however, their names have been changed to obviously protect their privacy :) if u ask me whether these stories affect my own views on relationships..umm.. yeah.. cant help that they do actually.

1) john & leyla
they met at university and fell in love. they were evrywhere together. evryone knew about them. got married after graduation. got 2 kids. became working parents. one day, he told her he wants her to know that he's getting close to a woman at work..BUT she's more like a little sister than anything, AND yes, they hangout quite a bit at work, BUT nothing's going on..she was having some serious personal problems with her family, AND has no one to turn to, SO he's just helping her out. he was telling her because he didnt want her to get any wrong ideas if she were to hear about it from other people first. leyla didn't completely swallow evrything though. but she accepted his explaination. she did remind him that they both should remember that particular conversation that day(and by they she meant him).
then about a few months after that, he broke down in front of her that he's in love with the other woman (yeah, the one he was treating "like a little sister") and he felt really guilty cuz he really loves leyla too. they both cried and he promised her he will leave the woman because he didnt think he could live with the guilt. and he couldnt imagine leaving the kids. leyla accepted his apology, and his promise.
a year later.. john & leyla divorced. he broke his promise (apparently he couldnt stop loving the other woman no matter how hard he tried) and married the woman. leyla got custody of the kids, john gets to visit them once a week. according to leyla, he just visits them twice a month now, at the most.

2) yana & bob
yana studied in the east. bob in the west. first time they met, yana fell in love with bob. she travelled to visit him any time she could. they kept in touch. she told bob how she felt. bob said he felt the same way. he graduated earlier and started working. she continued on with her studies. they talked about getting married after she's done. by the time she graduated, they had gone out for 5 years.
then he told her that all these years they were together, he never actually "loved" her. he went along with the relationship cuz she was such a nice person and he didnt want to hurt her. most importantly, he didnt want her studies to be affected if he told her earlier.
yeah. he's such a saint.
they broke up. not long after, bob got another girlfriend. he's now married i think. yana is successful and still single.

3) wan & elly
the couple was introduced to each other by a mutual friend. he was studying overseas, she locally. they kept in touch, saw each other whenever he was back home. fell in love. got married after graduation. they're now expecting their 1st child.
the cool thing was that, when they each told their parents about the other, they found out that their parents were actually friends way back when wan & elly were little. the 2 families used to have meals together, and wan & elly were actually playmates. they had lost contact with each other after evryone moved away, and the kids were just too young to remember each other. wan's mom found a yellowing photo of the two families together with the 2 kids sitting right beside each other. she cut the part out, enlarged it, framed it, and they had it displayed on their wedding day.

4) aidan & shasha
they were colleagues, became friends, became lovers. problem was, they were of different religions. shasha has strong faith in her beliefs, and aidan was willing to convert and marry her. shasha's family were accepting. aidan's father had a heart attack when he told the family about her. aidan couldnt take seeing his father so ill and so disappointed. shasha couldnt take continuing the relationship in secret, not knowing if they will ever have a future together. but they were still so deeply in love that they ended up still seeing each other anyway. but when they bumped into aidan's parents one day, it was obvious that his parents were still very upset and were not giving in. it was then that aidan said he couldnt choose between his family and shasha, he loves them both. shasha said he would have to.
he chose his family.

5) deedee & russell & anne
russell and deedee knew each other from the internet. he was open from the beginning about being a married man. deedee was in a long-distance relationship. they became friends. she broke up with her boyfriend, but didnt tell russell right away. she felt that the friendship is "safe" as long as they know that each were not available.
he then confessed he was falling in love with her. she refused to accept. he's married to anne. they have 5 kids. he claimed he's never experienced true love with anne. they were just neighbourhood friends. anne was actually marrying another guy, but just a few days before the wedding, the guy broke off the engagement. russell's mom then told him to be a man and save his dear friend from embarassment. and he did, "replacing" the groom on the fixed wedding date. 5 kids later, he told deedee the above, and proposed.
at first she didnt fall for it. but he was such a "wise, mature gentleman" and he loves her so much ..and you know what they say, (apparently) it's best to be with a man who loves you more than you love him..hmm.. and so she later accepted his proposal, and became his 2nd wife.

6) norma & aaron
norma was working in a tin factory after high school when she had an unfortunate accident. the tips of her right 4 fingers had to be amputated. after marrying aaron, she became a housewife. he was only a laborer, working hard to make ends meet. after the amputation, norma had phantom pain in her fingers, made worse evrytime she does manual laundry (the bristles of the brush gave her chilling pain to the bones). when aaron found out, he worked harder than ever and made enough to buy her a washing machine. norma nagged him about it of course. he just shrugged it off.
aaron's father's health was ailing, and his mother hated norma. did evrything to make him leave her. aaron stuck by his wife, ignored his mother..but instead of leaving his old parents though, he actually built a house right beside theirs so he can still keep an eye on them. norma had a terrible time but never left his side, never returned the attack and abuse (mostly verbal but they were a few physical ones too!)from her mother in law. their strong patience paid off though. the mother in-law actually repented and now they have a healthy relationship.
then, during norma's 3 rd pregnancy, she developed really bad hypertension that persisted post-delivery. aaron was so concerned that he called me frequently throughout the pregnancy and after to ask about medical things, how to help his wife, what her blood tests meant, etc. he would take days off work when she was ill, even if it meant being fired from his job, to help cook and take care of norma and the kids.
he moved from one job to another, all the while with his wife supporting him no matter how difficult things got. now they have 4 healthy sons, he's running his own business, they paid off all their debts, are doing very well .. and still the humble and loving couple i've always known them to be.

Monday, September 11, 2006

any significance?

weird dream last nite.
in the dream, i have 3 pets. a snake, a tortoise, and a frog. i live in an old kampung house, with an attap roof and dirt floors. then one day there was a flood (or some kind of natural disaster, can't remember exactly), so i had to leave the house, and in the emergency, i accidentally "packed" all 3 pets together. the tortoise immediately ate the frog, and as i realized what i'd done, i tried to get the tortoise before the snake got to him. the snake, which was a bright yellow python btw, put up a fight, and snatched the tortoise off my hand, pecked away at it's belly and gorily gobbled him up. the snake then ran away, and for some reason i got worried that it was gonna eat up a baby or a small kid, so the rest of my dream was spent chasing after this snake. when i finally caught it, i smashed it with a rock repeatedly till i was sure it was dead. then i cried.
i woke up at 3 am, frowned, then slept again. not sure if i had another dream after that.

Friday, September 08, 2006

motivate me

i was at a cpr course today, as an instructor. met a fellow instructor who tried to get me into one of those multi-level marketing thingys. a business opportunity basically. this isnt the first time people tried to get me into these things. she said i dont even have to spend much time on it, i can still go to work as usual, and make some extra money on the side. but i still have to get other people interested, and have them buy things, and when they buy them i'd have to go get them things and deliver them to the buyers. i'm not interested because i know the kind of person i am. i just love my free time too much. if i dont actually have to work..well, i wouldnt. i would love the extra money of course, and if i put my mind to it, i'll probably be able to do it, but who am i kidding? it wont last. i cant even commit to a once-a-week swimming class- i went to the 1st two classes, then missed the next 6..before feeling guilty and finally attended the class again yesterday ;). and i have so many projects that i've been planning to do... most of them still not even started yet.
yup, that's my problem. i just cant commit. i admire this woman tho.. she's around my age i think, got 2 kids, works as a doctor at a govt clinic, and has been involved in this business for a year now. money aside, she said she's doing it to help people. that's her motivation..being able to help people earn more money.
hmph.. i guess i was at the cpr course today cuz i um, wanna help people too? err..well.... that and the fact that there was this really cute guy there.. he was one of the participants. got so psyched when i got to be his examiner during the practical today (hee). great motivation.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

the wedding

went down south to a cousin's wedding. she's 19, married now to a 25yr old. they're in love.
and it was a fun reunion, aunts, uncles, cousins, kids, babies.
'course, it was just a few days ago that the nation 'celebrated' the ultimate wedding of the year. u must be living under..well, not living, if u live in msia, and not heard about this singer's wedding. people talk about it many weeks before the actual date, and of course, will still talk about it weeks after. so what do i have to say about it?
well i honestly dont give a damn about who this pretty girl marries (i didnt even watch the thing actually).what would have shocked me is if she actually announced to everyone that she's NOT the marrying kind..haha.
they call her the pop princess, and her wedding was supposedly a girl's dream wedding of royal proportions. but people definitely have different opinions about her 47 yr-old price charming though.. i already said i dont give a damn, but i wanna just share here what my cousin's lil'
4-yr old had to say..
she saw the wedding on tv, and when the groom kissed the bride on the cheek, she innocently pointed out to her parents: "look, her dad's kissing her!".
then when the couple were cutting the cake together, the kid asked: "why is she cutting the cake with her dad? where's her husband?"
and when it was pointed to her that the man she thought was the singer's dad is actually the husband, she refused to believe her parents!
kids are the cutest things arent they? honestly!