Wednesday, November 24, 2010

melancholic merapu

seeing things i shouldnt be seeing.
hearing things i shoudnt be hearing.
saying things i shouldnt be saying.
infuriating.
annoying.
frustrating.
disappointing.
depressing.
feeling like i shouldnt have these feelings.
hating for hating.
hating for loving.
loving to loving.
infuriating.
frustrating.
disappointing.
depressing.
dreaming, dreaming, and dreaming.
wanting.
why even bother wishing.
is it worth, the praying?
knowing that i shouldnt have these feelings.
drowning.
in desperation.
in own stupidity.

Monday, November 08, 2010

jodoh, jodoh, where art thou, jodoh?

someone said this to me a few weeks back:
you know, God make jodoh for each person in this world. there is no such thing as "tak ada jodoh". there is only lambat or cepat. so you know, dont give up on your jodoh, emie. he is out there for you. you just have to keep your eyes open, and you must always..believe.

sheesh. i felt like i was reading a "poyo" script in a malay tv drama.

i already know all that. why did this person feel like i need to be told of this again? am i giving the impression that i've given up? or that i dont think that i have a jodoh?
although i've to admit that i am lazy about keeping my eyes open.. coz whenever i have the chance, id like to catchup on my precious sleep.
but i digress.

yes, ok, so i know my jodoh is out there somewhere. he's just not here yet because:
1) he lives in another continent, and still has no idea where malaysia is
2) he's lost in his 4x4 in a remote jungle somewhere on his way to finding me
3) he's still too busy with his humanitarian work
4) he's still too busy governing his country
5) he's still too busy with his duties as sultan of his state (or country!)
6) he's a race car driver, who got into an MVA on his way to see me
7) he's dead (see you in the afterlife, baby!)
8) he got cold feet
9) he decided to turn gay instead
10) he hasnt turn 21 yet
11) he's not of legal-driving age yet
12) he's not baligh yet
13) he's just plain lazy (now THERE's a match made in heaven!)

huh. so i guess these can also double up as comebacks whenever people also ask "how come you're not married?" (see previous blog a few entries back)