my current life soundtrack

-TRUTH by Seether-

If I gave you the truth, would it keep you alive?
Though I'm closer to wrong
I'm no further from right
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me
Convinced on the inside, you're so much more than me, yeah
No there's nothing you say that can salvage the lie
But I'm trying to keep my intentions disguised
And now I'm deprived of my conscience and something's got to give
Deprived of my conscience
This all belongs to me, yeah

I'm beaten down again, I belong to them
Beaten down again, I've failed you
I'm weaker now my friend, I belong to them
Beaten down again, I've failed you

The deception you show is your own parasite
Just a word of advice you can heed if you like
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me
Convincd on the inside you're so much more than me, yeah
I'm beaten down

it's one of those days.....

i have demons.
inside me.
outside.
the ones inside me are clawing through to get out, show their faces to the world.
the ones outside are penetrating their way into my mind..my body..my soul.
and there's helpless old me in between.
trying desperately to fight them off.
i cant let them get to me.. then i'll become their slave..and be lost forever.
no turning back.

it's been a looooooooooooooooong losing battle.
and it's wearing me out.
battered.
injured.
too damn tired.


dont know how long i can hold on.