happy mother's day

i was in my bereavement clinic this week and was seeing a couple who had lost 2 babies in 2 years.
dad is coping fairly well, better than his wife because he feels that going to work and keeping busy helps.
mom (and dad) agrees that it is more difficult for her to cope because she mostly stays at home and when their other children (they have 3 older ones) are at school she will be alone. and because she is the mother. with the support of the husband, she is taking up sewing and knitting classes just to occupy time. i asked what else can she do at home and she told me "i dont know, not much. i try to watch tv but these few weeks have been especially hard because there are so many shows and ads about mother's day.....".
i immediately agreed with her on that.

tomorrow is mother's day.
today marks the 9th month of mama's passing.
life goes on,, the crying has lessened a bit, but i still dreaded her birthday, the coming ramadhan &  syawal, the date Aug 9th .. because i knew i will be missing her more on these occasions. for some reason i had sorta forgotten about mother's day until i first saw about it on tv a few weeks ago. so i guess you can say i was a bit taken aback, makes me miss her even more and made the tears appear again.
even when she was alive the mother's day shows and ads on tv can make me emotional, but back then i could just call her right away, tell her i miss her, love her.. or if i am in town, celebrate the day with her with our family, a special lunch or dinner.
this year onwards, we can no longer do that.

my sister called me the other day, crying as she heard a mother's day ad on the radio as she was driving (read:stuck in an awful jam) to work.
so it's not just me.. it's difficult for all of us.

the bereavement continues on.
we love you mama. alfatihah.

last year we celebrated mother's day and our dad's bday together. here they were with the 3 grandkids. i almost missed it because i was at a wedding. so glad hubby & me still tried our best and drove all the way to join the dinner. who knew it was the last time we were able to celebrate mother's day with our dearest mama.