mind your language - Malaysian version.

At the clinic.
Scene 1. Chinese parents bringing in their baby.
Father: Doktor, tolong vakum ini budak.
Doctor: (hah?) Apa maksud you mau vakum?
Father: Dia sudah banyak hari bagut bagut.
Doctor: (hah?) Err.. apa tu
Mother (to the father) : Shenme sie "bagut"?
Father (to the mother): Kesou
Mother: Hiyaa.. BATUK la. Doktor, dia batuk batuk. So kita mau doktor vakum dia.
Doctor: Oo.. batuk ye. ada selesema? Flu?
Parents: Haa.ada leh. Banyak.
Doctor: Ooo.. so you mau saya "suction".. err.. sedut dia punya nose la?
Parents: Haaa yea..dia punya nose, kasi vakum!

Scene 2. Chinese grandmother asking about meds
Grandma: Doktor, itu ubat kalau saya simpan dalam peti surat berapa lama boleh simpan?
Doctor: Kenapa simpan dalam peti surat??
Grandma: Sudah pakai sikit, ada lebih, so saya simpan sana peti surat la.
Doctor: Oo.. u mean peti sejuk ka? Fridge?
Grandma: Haa...yea yea. Berapa lama boleh?

Scene 3. Foreign medical student presenting after getting history from an Indian mother regarding her child.
Student: Child has fever but no other symptoms suggestive of URTI.
Doctor: What sort of symptoms?
Student: There is no cough. No coryza. No sore throat.
Doctor (looking at the child sneezing, snorting, coughing right in front of them): Umm..
Student: I know doctor! But I asked the mom she kept saying no.
Doctor (to child's mother): Mak, anak you ada batuk?
Mother: *wobbles head* Ada.
Doctor: Ada selesema?
Mother: *wobbles head* Ada.
Doctor (to student): How long have you been in Malaysia?

SELAMAT HARI MALAYSIA!