no globes no glory.. 2008 is scary

2008 is scaring me..
lesseee..

recently .. sth bad happened to me at work.. reallly bad.. and i didnt realize i was even involved until a couple of fingers started pointing at me.. "it was her!!"... and .. o well..
i wont relive the whole thing.. but i was so shocked, and depressed, and frustrated with myself..
and i felt like evryone knows, and are pointing fingers at me, and talking about me behind my back.. and maybe it's mostly paranoia, but even this person who was close to me before, now seemed like she's ignoring me cuz i guess she blames me.. maybe...i dunno.

then i keep having this heavy feeling in my chest, and this quesy feeling in my stomach.. dunno why. at first i thought i wasnt feeling well, like having palpitations, or even angina/heart attack.. but my heart rate's normal. more like a feeling like sth bad's gonna happen.. i;m obviously not psychic..but hiyaa.. dunnolah.. i really dont like whatever it is that i'm feeling.

i'm also totally freaking out about the coming exams in may..i try to study.. and realize that i'm so stupid i cant remember a lotta stuff, and so i give up, and stop studying.. and that freaks me out again...so i try to study again..then i cant concentrate..give up again..freak out more..vicious cycle..

i think it all sorta started on the 1st day of the new year.. me and my 2 housemates had breakfast together at this kopitiam place.. .. and i got a parking ticket! it's a public holiday damnit! i couldnt believe it.. a parking ticket..on my bday! (althoo.. i realize now that's not really exceptional.. i got a speeding ticket on my bday 2 years ago too..hmmm..mebbe not related..)

and now i found out that the golden globes has been cancelled. the winners will just be announced in a press conference. no red carpets, no speeches, etc.
i actually completely forgot about the golden globes..with work and all the things above been nagging me..
at first i was disappointed, but then i realize i'm oncall tomorrow anyway, so .. phew! (i usually make it a point to either not be oncall on globes/oscars days and have even taken the day off just to catch the shows live in the previous years-hee..am a complete sucker for these 2 awards shows)
o well..la di da.. life goes on..

but that's why i think 2008 is starting to scare me...