kids? no kids?

i had this friendly debate with a friend at work a few weeks ago. she's expecting her first child, is in her early pregnancy, and i'm...well, obviously not pregnant, but the topic was about me not wanting to be pregnant.
like, ever.
and no, it has nothing to do with not wanting to become fat and hormonal, cuz i go through that at least once a month anyway.
it's about the product of the pregnancy itself.

i remember when i used to attend to women in labor during my med school days, or later during my houseman days in obstetrics...seeing the women in intense pain, squeezing the little life out of her was already enough to scare me off vaginal delivery...and i vowed for caeserian section for the delivery of my own babies.

then after a string of unsuccessful relationships, i gave up on finding THE man, so i planned to adopt a baby someday, so that i can still be a momma, even if there's no poppa in the picture.

then, after 34 years of life, and 7 years in paediatrics, seeing the sick babies and kids, and also the troubled youths, the juvenile delinquents, the mat rempits and bohsias, i decided to never become a momma. being a doctor to these kids can be risky and is a lot of work, but becoming a parent, to me, is taking major risk, and requires super major hard work. and i just dont think i wanna take that risk. plus i'm not that hardworking either.

of course, my optimistic friend totally disagrees with my thinking, and presented a whole list of reasons for me to reconsider.
so far i'm sticking to my guns, but then i have been known to change my mind about things so i guess we'll see ;)